I've been preaching through the book of Nehemiah looking at some of his
experiences/responses that we can apply towards rebuilding our lives/rebuilding
our churches. This past weekend, we spent some time talking about the bullies
that Nehemiah was dealing with in rebuilding the wall (focusing on Nehemiah
6). Among a number of applications, I
mentioned dealing with bullies in churches.
We all have seen bullies in the church (maybe some of us have even been
a bully!). Bullies are those who give ultimatums: "There will be trouble
if ____________ doesn't change!"
or "I will withhold my
giving if _____________" or "I'm going to leave if
______________". Pastors often
have to deal with real or implied threats if people don't get their way. This is a subtle (or not so subtle) attempt
to intimidate (i.e., bully) the pastor or other leadership into getting their
way.
But there is another type of bullying that is even more common and more
insidious to the unity of the church: rumors/gossip
(which, by the way, Nehemiah was dealing with also). We don't often think of this as bullying but
consider some of the characteristics of rumors/gossip:
1.
The source is rarely quoted. [I heard
that...]
2. Exaggeration and inaccuracy are involved.
3. They are designed to hurt rather than
build up.
4.
Almost never shared in the proper setting (i.e., face-to-face with the
involved party).
So how to deal with church
bullies who spread rumors/gossip:
1.
Understand the real enemy behind this. It is not the
gossiper/rumor spreader--it is Satan himself (John 10:10). This is spiritual warfare--and must be
approached as such.
2.
Practice loving rebuke (Eph. 4:29).
Refuse to listen or participate. Lovingly rebuking someone at the point
of gossip/rumor is the most loving thing you can do for the gossiper (allows
the Holy Spirit to do a work of conviction) and for those being gossiped about.
3.
Make a choice to not yield to temptation. Yielding to listening
to gossip/rumors or responding to them in the flesh (e.g., anxiety,
frustration, depression, anger, desire for revenge) all play right into the
enemy's hands.
4.
Persist and experience God's strength. If one is in the middle of God's
will, keep on doing and being what you have been. The power to harm and to
divert you is stripped away from those who gossip and spread rumors.
God has already given us a road map for dealing with the sin of
bullying (see Matt. 18:15-20). Let God
deal with the bully--He will always be much more effective than you could ever
be!
(If you want to be
notified of future blog postings, friend me on Facebook 'John Schmidt'. Also, my recent sermons in audio format can
be found at www.NVbridgechurch.com.)
